Goin' Straussin'

I don't even have to try. Good names just come to mind with no effort. Gruffward Von Bonavich. Now that's a man not to be taken lightly. You can have that one. Give it to your son. He'll be prosperous. I've got another thing to tell you. Strauss Tinglewood. Not a name. A club. You can ride little mopeds inside and there are glow-in-the-dark silly straws coming out of the walls and each different color is a different drink but you gotta 'go Straussin' enough to know what drink comes from what straw and to be sure it's the one you are in the mood for. But it doesn't matter cause they all taste delicious and you don't have to worry about that because you go to the Strauss so often you couldn't ever possibly forget what type of drink comes out of which straw, or what kinds of puppies are let free to run loose on each night of the week. And you know it's pointless to try to figure out the latter, because you already know the Strauss house rules, which means that you know every night the type of puppy is chosen secretly and that noone ever knows what type they are gonna see. And guess what else? Everyone wears slippers. And not just because they are amazingly comfortable and why not, but because the Strauss Tinglewood brand slippers have thick fluffy bottoms that don't hurt the puppies, so you can feel free to swing carelessly off the monkey bars and jungle gyms. And when you want to get a boy or girl's attention you just walk around on the polka dot Strauss carpet until you build up enough charge to give them a little friendly shock when you touch them slightly on the back of their ear lobe. Even if they aren't interested it's not awkward- they just giggle and give you a little nice smile and leave it at that because you are both at the Strauss and you are always having a good time no matter what. She might even shock you back later. But you don't sweat it cause it's not about meeting people really, it's about sharing the experience with them.
I'm headed up to the good ol' S Tinglewood right now. I'm gonna get a little studying done while I'm there so I'll bring my book and I know swirly blue and red straws mean Thai iced teas so I've got a smile on my face...Strauss Tinglewood is nothing too fancy. It's not supposed to be. It is what it is. Enjoy it.